![]() ![]() I responded that I had plans to meet “friends” that night. I remember my colleague, who travelled with me occasionally, asking me to come out for a beer after work. This got me into the habit of overcoming the fear of entering a new place by just doing it, wherever I went. I also had many business trips and the first thing I did, when planning a trip, was to find the next meeting at my destination. Especially when I visited my family, I was over-sensitive and thankfully got into the habit of always attending meetings when visiting family. The first years in my sobriety, I depended a lot on the love and understanding I felt in the meetings. After work, I had dinner on the way to my meeting and the next 24 h started. After that I was able to do my daily work with manageable fears and every day I had a new idea on how to better manage my life. After the meeting, I went home, hat a nice cup of tea or hot chocolate, went to bed early, slept well, got up, did my morning prayers and readings, and had a proper breakfast. So I changed my habit and started my personal 24 h with a meeting in the evening. I never learned to relax without a drink, so every day that I didn’t go to a meeting after work, I went to bed much too late, I couldn’t sleep, I was restless and irritated. I soon realized that the opposite was true. I found a new job and thought that I couldn’t go to meetings every day or I wouldn’t get enough rest. Even though I had attended regular AA meetings for some time already and had been in Al-Anon for some years, the program appeared completely new to me. The first months of my sobriety I was unemployed, which gave me a chance to do 90 meetings in 90 days. Strangely enough, only then was I able to listen to what I’ve heard in the meetings, find a sponsor and let God and my AA friends help me: one day at a time. I was able to let God into my life and have Him sort it out for me – I tried often enough to stay sober and never managed. I was able to hand over my life to AA and a higher power and was no longer responsible for my sobriety. I had known long before, that my life had become unmanageable but I never put it in context with my drinking.įor me capitulation was a great relief. However, one day, I was lucky enough to see that there was no way out of my misery other than to admit that I was powerless over alcohol. that I could not stay sober through my own will and resources. ![]() It took me quite some years of going to meetings before I understood that:Ģ. ![]()
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